In Case You're Wondering... - An Old Post :)

Friday, October 03, 2008


Full Circle

So most of you who will actually even read this know how dear my grandmother was and will always be to me. Most of you know how haunted I am by her death.
This past week, I had an entire new perspective as to why God put me through all of that part of my life. The older I get the more I realize how much that time in my life changed the direction of my life. Had those few days in February 2004 not happened to me, I don't know where I would be today - if I would even be alive.
One of my dear, dear friends, a lady named Lou - someone who I have really become close with since I got my job at Social Services - dealt with a tremendous loss this past week when her baby brother took his life. A lot of her family I have gotten to know by playing ball with a majority of them this summer and fall. September 25, 2008 will be another day that will remain marked on my memory for my life. When I heard the words of her brothers death, I remember feeling shocked. Then when I asked the simple question of "how?" and the answer was "suicide" I realized the reasons that Lou had come into my life and the reasons I had come into hers.
I felt like I had been run over by a truck. I knew exactly how she was feeling because I had felt that way before. All the questions that run through your mind, all of the emotions that I felt back then, I felt again that day. The shock that someone you love and adore could be in such a dark place that they felt there was no way out and you were totally unaware they were in even in that place is a crushing emotion to feel. I offerred my heart, my ears, my tears to Lou and her family. I hope that the perspective I could offer her in the days after that day comforted her, just in the fact of knowing that someone else had felt that pain. Of all the conversations Lou and I have had about my family, my parents, my issues, never had we talked about this part of my life until that day.
I thank God for bringing us into each others lives. She won't ever know how much all of this has helped me to deal with my pain, that - yes is still in my heart. I have come to conclusion it will probably always be there. I took a baby step to having some sort of closure this past week because I understood another one of the reasons why I had to suffer that way. I understand now that Lou and I will always have a bond that is rooted in grief and pain, but at the same time just knowing that you aren't the only one who's feeling that pain is a comfort. I am glad that I could be there for her, to offer some insight. To let her know that I know how she feels. And trust me y'all until you've been there, you cannot know how it feels.
I have acquired lots of adoptive family along this journey called life - and Lou and her family are the newest members. Its amazing how much I care for all of them, only having known them several months. I am just glad that something I had experienced in my life could actually bring something good out of something so bad.
Anyway - to one of my deepest blogs ever!! :) Good night y'all - make sure you tell the one's you love, that you love 'em!

Peace, Love and Chicken Grease my friends!
Currently listening:
Reba Duets
By Reba McEntire
Release date: 2007-09-18

So What If they Do?

One of my favorites!

Glad For Tonight

Tonight has been wonderful. We hit up a old school eatery in Roxboro; got a little second hand, hot coffee, steak and eggs. What more can you ask for?

Ready for the weekend.

1-800-799-SAFE.

R.I.P.

Kimberly Dawn Smith a.k.a "Red"

I'm glad you'll never have to hang siding again. Neither will I.

heart,

c

Passion

Because your passion is your passion.

I LOVE THIS MOVIE. Glad it came on... on the eve of my birthday.

Song Of The Day

Finally.... it's over.

WASHINGTON — President George W. Bush will give a farewell address to the nation Thursday night, billed by the administration as a chance to reflect on his tenure and welcome Barack Obama without fighting old battles one last time.

Bush will deliver the speech, expected to run 10 to 15 minutes, from the ornate East Room of the White House. He will have a small audience of people in the room, chosen for their stories of personal courage.

White House press secretary Dana Perino said Monday that Bush will "uphold the tradition of presidents using farewell addresses to look forward _ by sharing his thoughts on greatest challenges facing the country, and on what it will take to meet them."

The president also will defend his record, Perino said, but will show graciousness toward Obama and not attempt to revisit the old battles of his presidency.

Bush will speak in prime time, although no specific time has been set. The White House has requested airtime from the major television networks.

Perino said the speech will be the last scheduled public event for Bush as president until he appears on the North Portico to greet Obama on Inauguration Day, which is Jan. 20. Bush held his final news conference on Monday.

The White House says the ritual of a farewell address dates to the time of George Washington. Presidents Bill Clinton and Ronald Reagan delivered goodbye speeches from the White House; Presidents Jimmy Carter and Gerald Ford gave a final State of the Union address on Capitol Hill, Perino said.

Work

My work lately has been swamped. There have been more and more people pouring into my office everyday looking me dead in the face and asking me for help. It's one of the hardest things I have ever had to do, personally or professionally to look back at them and tell them that I can't help them because of the rules I am forced to follow. Many of them want very badly to go to work. The reality is there is no work here for uneducated, poor people with kids to take care of. Sometimes it just breaks my heart. My job is a stressful one; but, it can be a very rewarding one some days as well. I am so thankful for it. To just know that I have a job to go to every morning. To know that its one where you are rewarded based on the quality of work you do, not who you do. I try to go in with a smile on my face everyday and know that with my job means keeping my life just the way I like it. :)

Ha Ha.

January 20th - don't forget to shave your crotch. Cause Bush is OUT!! :)

Thought of The Day:

"Terror is not a new weapon. Throughout history it has been used by those who could not prevail, either by persuasion or example."

John F. Kennedy in a speech to the UN in 1961.

Shannon - your blog had me googling "JFK."